When is it time to give up and move on?
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Dear letting go...
What an important question! Ultimately you, and only you, will know when it is time to step away from a relationship and move forward with your life. Likely your head will know first, as it may take time to convince your heart that a change is needed. Long after your head has recognized the signs and impacts of abuse, infidelity or abandonment, the widely accepted relationship deal breakers, your heart may still remain hopeful. We all know situations where lives and deals were healed through proper treatment, accountability processes and renewed trust. That may or may not be possible in your situation. Well-meaning friends and family may counsel you to stay or leave. Sort through their comments to determine the relevance for you and your understanding of who you are and what is best for you. Your faith tradition may have its own precepts for when it is permissible to end a marriage. However, a loving creator would never support your staying in a situation where either you or your children are at risk.
On the other hand, boredom alone isn’t a credible reason to call it quits -- that just says that you got distracted or lazy or both. If at all possible, and you are not under any form of oppression, capitalize on your existing investment of emotion, time and energy and creatively get those romantic juices flowing again. Should you decide to move on, be sure to do the necessary grieving for what was lost in the relationship -- hopes and dreams. Be prepared to devote enough time and reflection to this important processing work in order to know yourself well enough and to be healthy enough to attract and be attracted to someone that fits well with this new self awareness and well-being!
-- Marion
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