Answers from Expert: Marion Goertz, DMin, RMFT

Dear Following… I’m hearing lots about what he wants, but what would meet your needs? Do you want to be married? If so, this guy isn't the one for you. He has made that clear and you need to accept his decision. Do you want to stick around and try to convince him to change his mind? Forget it, you aren't hearing him and aren't respecting his feelings. Do you want to continue to date him and keep your options open for someone else who is more committed to come along? That's a long shot. You can't reach out to someone new while your arms are holding onto the one you're with now. Besides which, no self–respecting man will try to break up your relationship if he thinks you're committed to your present boyfriend and he won't respect you if you try to see him on the side. If you want a healthy and happy, long-term relationship, start with a clear sense of your personal worth and your right to make choices about your own life. Work on getting to know and accept who you are and what you are wanting your life to count for. Enrich your days with interesting people and experiences and you will likely attract someone who is also working on expanding their horizons. Your chances of finding a good person for you will increase as you know more about the good person you are! Happy hunting on both accounts! Marion