Answers from Expert: Marion Goertz, DMin, RMFT

Hmm, even though this handsome young foreigner sounds like a really sweet talker, you're still left without consistent love, affection and companionship. You deserve better! If there is any chance that you and your husband could refocus your wandering eyes and wounded hearts back toward your own marriage and try to optimize the investment you've already made there, I would say, go for it! You are both seeking acceptance and affection, something you may have had with each other at one time and may yet be able to have again. The marriage you had is over but maybe a new and better one is still possible with the same guy, if you are both prepared to try again. This will take a real commitment of time and energy by both of you and certainly some frank talk and forgiveness on both sides. However, you likely have a better chance of finding what you need in the arms of the man who presently shares your home than the one who keeps you dangling from afar. See if there is enough mutual interest and energy to either engage your husband in a dialogue about enriching your present relationship or releasing and blessing each other to be free to find health and happiness outside the marriage. And don't be expecting another person to give you that health and happiness! You must do it for yourself, as it is your right and your responsibility to seek and maintain your own well-being. Start now, make this a year for renewal and recharging. Start with working on yourself through programs that improve physical, emotional and spiritual vibrancy. Next, apply this new-found positive energy to enriching your closest relationships with friends and family, perhaps even your spouse! Let us know how you're doing, we're cheering you on! Marion