I am a female in my late 20s and I really want to find someone to settle down with, in a serious relationship. The thing is, I can't seem to get the interest of men that I meet and am interested in. Often, I end up in situations where I am really drawn to someone, send out signals by flirting with them and seem to get similar messages back. However, things usually don't get past that stage and I wonder if I am doing something wrong. Too many times, I have found that they were either uninterested in pursuing a relationship with me, wanting to stay friends only (though they flirted back and seemed to be interested in other ways) or they were already involved with someone else. I often feel not attractive enough and keep thinking I need to somehow 'fix' myself before finding anyone (I often focus negatively on my slightly zaftig body shape to explain my lack of success in this area). At the same time, I know that I am a strong, interesting, open, friendly, intelligent and funny person. Any suggestions? Thank you in advance!
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Dear strong, interesting, open, friendly, intelligent and funny person.
Glad to hear that you like who you are and that's the most important place to start! A woman with so much going for her, who is getting mixed results in relationships, may be sending out mixed signals that are off-putting or confusing to others. What do your close family members or guy and gal pals say about you? Are the strong and funny parts overpowering the interesting and intelligent ones? Zaftig girls not only need love but many are part of healthy, long-term relationships.
Health attracts health so continue to keep healthy in body and soul and be curious, not critical, about what is or isn't happening with men. An early feminist once said that a woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. While a man doesn't complete a woman, you have decided that you would like to have one, and a good one hopefully, to share your life. Get some feedback on your presentation style from people you trust and slow down and enjoy the adventure of choosing, rather than being so concerned about being chosen. The first is proactive and the second is diminishing.
Marion
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