As my daughter struggles with deciding whether to go back to work after having her second child, I find myself searching for the right words to say to her. I want to be helpful, positive and give her guidance and wisdom to make the right choice for her.
How wonderful that you have the kind of rapport with your daughter that you are being allowed to share this time of her life with her. It likely has a lot to do with the fact that you are being sensitive about how to proactively support her without being intrusive in her decision-making process.
You have never been down this road before and neither has she, so why not ask her what she needs from you? You can't be expected to know without some input from her. This is a wonderful chance to invite her into an adult woman-to-woman relationship and will help you both to negotiate what you each need in this stage of your relationship.
If your daughter has an involved partner be sure to sit down and have the same conversation with both of them together. That way you will eliminate the majority of misunderstandings and breakdowns in communication that can plague people and their adult kids.
Again, it's meant to be a negotiation, as mature individuals, about what each of you would like to see happen and what is manageable for each party.
All the best to you as you manoeuvre graciously through the years together!
Marion
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