I know my spouse is afraid to go to marriage counselling with me and I don't know why. As an April Fool's joke many years ago, I told him I didn't think we should be together any more and knew that must have hit home because he teared up. Maybe he's afraid of going to counselling with me because he's afraid of what I might say.
If you have a question for any of our experts, please visit our Just Ask page.
It is unlikely that a comment spoken in jest, albeit a shocker, would have been taken as a deal breaker if over the long term a caring, committed attitude was part of how you presented yourself.
However, it might have triggered some insecurities, which we all have, around being lovable enough and "measuring up." After a couple has been together for a time, a scheduled preventative checkup is a good idea to clarify how each of you think you're doing and where you each want to improve to make things better for mutual benefit.
Couple counselling isn't just about pointing out the problems -- it's more often about recognizing and inviting more of the positive things that you are already doing in order to strengthen an already good relationship. Consider it good maintenance. I hope that you will, together, take a calculated risk and invest in what sounds like an important relationship for you both.
Marion
Comment reported
Thank you for reporting this comment as inappropriate.
Back to Comments »