Either I'm really old-fashioned at 21 or my parents have lost their minds! My little sister is going to be 16 and is allowed to dress like a backup singer in a cheesy music video, meaning lots of bare midriff, makeup and attitude. Not only was I not allowed to shorten the skirt on my school uniform but my dad threatened to wash my face if I put on too much eyeliner before I left for school. Horrified!
Funny how the rules can lighten up as parents get older. Sometimes busy adults will bow to the pressure of a child who wants to fit in with her peers. To kids, that can translate into the idea that their parents just don't care about them enough to handle the hassle of challenging what they are asking for. Parents, if you knew that your child really wanted you to stick to your guns one more time than they do, would you act differently?
While schools are monitoring dress codes, parents ultimately have the right and responsibility to encourage their child to act and dress in ways that are right for them, rather than following the crowd. What a gift it would be if you could spend time with your sister. Take the opportunity to encourage and support her choices, which are likely more suited to her than those established by Hollywood icons many years her senior. Model confidence and competence in relationships for her and invite her questions and doubts around whether the message she is sending by how she dresses is the one that she wants to deliver on. Teens aren't nearly as interested in being sexual as they are in fitting in. Help her find those things that make her special and unique and to celebrate who she is, not just a member of someone else’s posse.
Marion
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