I am trying to end my relationship with a mentally abusive man. He does not get it no matter how I put it to him about leaving. I don't want to be mean about it, but I don't know any other way -- please let me know your thoughts. He asked me to go to counselling with him, which I did, BUT when it came down to doing the things that HE needed to do he refused and called it a bad solution. I am ready to move on, how do I do this now? Thank you for your thoughts.
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Sometimes, when an ending is inevitable, the best we can do is to try to end it well. Take every precaution for your safety as domestic abuse often escalates after separation. Speak with a family lawyer to clarify your rights and responsibilities and to put together a plan before you leave. Have finances, important papers, transportation, childcare if necessary, and short and long-term accommodation in place.
Solicit the help of law enforcement officials if there is a potential for violence and you require assistance with removing your things from the home. Should he choose to make some of the changes that are necessary, give yourselves a period of time to work through a structured separation before considering moving back in. You will no doubt both have issues that need to be addressed before recommitting or you will be back in an even more unsettled place than you were to begin with. If you decide to move forward and not look back, take your time to get to know and understand yourself well before getting into another relationship. The odds of picking an abusive partner again are higher than you might think.
Marion
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