Answers from Expert: Marion Goertz, DMin, RMFT

I think that my wife might be gay. How can I tell for sure?
photo of Marion Goertz, DMin, RMFT
What does she say when you ask her? If her response doesn't clarify the situation for you then you may wish to invite her into a non-confrontational discussion where you share some of your observations and some of your concerns. If you seem to be getting nowhere and your concerns continue, you might suggest a joint counselling session with a religious leader or a trained professional. Every relationship can benefit from talking through what each person needs at various stages of the relationship. In some cases a mixed marriage, where one person is gay and one straight, is the workable solution with people negotiating to remain together for family or economic reasons. Either way, it sounds like clarification and negotiation are needed here. All the best, Marion

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