But as a long-term, monogamous relationship matures, and marriage, kids and financial responsibility come into play, sex is often the first thing to fall by the wayside. Read on to find out why the flames of passion might be extinguished, and how to go out about reigniting them.
Figure it out
If you're concerned about your interest in sex, or lack thereof, there's a good chance an underlying physical or emotional issue is to blame. Prescription medication such as birth control pills or antidepressants, as well as medical issues like hormonal imbalances or pain caused by an undiagnosed illness can all lower or completely obliterate a person's sexual impulses. Changes to the structure of a relationship, such as the birth of a child, aging parents or career stress, can also take their toll in the bedroom. Getting to the source of the problem will allow you to deal with it quickly and more successfully.
Turn it on
As the term turn on implies, sexual desire can be easily switched on or off with something as simple as a word, touch or action, and everyone's list of dos and don'ts is different. "A man's sexual response is very physical and it can happen in minutes. It's sort of like a traffic light: red, yellow, green," Lensen explains. "But a woman's response to sex is a bit like a cockpit in an airplane – sending up all sorts of lights and signals before it can take off." Understanding what makes you excited, and sharing that information with your partner is the key to sustaining a passionate sex life.
Page 1 of 2 – Lensen shares three more tips to improve the intimacy in your relationship on page 2.
