Mind & Spirit
3 Signs You Have Imposter Syndrome & 4 Ways to Fix It
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Mind & Spirit
3 Signs You Have Imposter Syndrome & 4 Ways to Fix It
What is imposter syndrome and why does it affect so many people?
We now know that 70 percent of us (from a study in the Journal of Behavioural Science) suffer from imposter syndrome at some point in our lives. We also know that stress and the pressure to succeed can increase the feeling of imposter syndrome—a nice cocktail of effects that can undermine self-esteem. Luckily, there are things we can do about it.
Do you suffer from imposter syndrome?
Imposter syndrome, (also called autodidact syndrome), was first identified in 1978 by psychologists Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes.
According to Dr. Sandi Mann, a psychology professor and lecturer in the United Kingdom, who recently published Why Do I Feel Like an Imposter?: How to Understand and Cope with Imposter Syndrome, suffering from imposter syndrome can be explained as follows: it is believing that you are pretending to be someone you are not, or that you are not as good as others believe you are.
3 characteristics of imposter syndrome:
- Attributing one's success to external and temporary causes (such as luck) and not to internal and lasting causes (such as talent).
- Feeling inadequate
- Lack of self-confidence.
Imposter syndrome in children
Two researchers concluded that two specific family dynamics are conducive to creating imposter syndrome:
- Having a brilliant sibling. The feeling of being an imposter arises when you have a sibling who is considered to be a high achiever (especially intellectually) and who may have been labeled "sensitive" or "nice."
- Being labeled a "child prodigy" early on. Problems arise when you start to fail or at least realize you're not as perfect as your family seems to believe.
How can we help our children avoid developing imposter syndrome?
Here are some tips from Dr. Sandi Mann:
- Don't over-help your children or do too much for them: This will teach them to have self-confidence and be able to manage on their own. "If one of the parents always comes to their rescue or systematically helps them, the child will attribute their successes to them without thinking that they are the result of their own efforts. Then, as an adult, they will continue to associate their successes with others because they will be convinced that they contributed more than they did," she says.
- Don't criticize children, they're wrong: School—and the education system in general—places too much emphasis on success and not enough on "failure," she says. "Teach your child that failure is also important; it teaches resilience."
- Try to behave the same way with all genders.
Imposter syndrome in adolescents
Dr. Sandi Mann points out that while adults find ways to improve their self-esteem in the real world, which is a little more protective than the digital world, today's young people don't have that luxury.
"Many measure their worth by the number of likes and followers on their account, knowing they must also navigate an ocean of comments and sometimes deal with dangerously negative remarks from anonymous platforms, a phenomenon that explains the increase in the number of harmful behaviours and even suicides."
Is imposter syndrome more common in women?
Although 70 percent of people will suffer from it at some point, women are affected more than men. Louise Cossette, a professor in the Department of Psychology at the University of Quebec, observes that many women bear sole responsibility for this feeling of inadequacy in their work. She adds that this doubt has social roots and is not a matter of individual character.
How to overcome imposter syndrome
1. Accept your perfectionism. Stop fighting your perfectionism. Observe it, and as you build a better sense of self-worth, watch your perfectionism ease.
2. Forget the looks. Don't worry about what others think. People who only value themselves in the eyes of others tend to believe that the others in question spend a considerable amount of time observing and evaluating them, whereas it is in their own eyes that the judgment mill is located: it is not others who undervalue us, it is we ourselves.
3. Listen to others. Don't undervalue the decisions of those who chose you. Listen to the colleagues and bosses who gave us promotions or entrusted us with complex projects; they trust us more than we trust ourselves! Drawing on the image they have of us can help us take a more positive view of ourselves.
4. Recognize your accomplishments. Whenever you've done something, even something seemingly small (like a nice conversation or speaking up in a meeting) that has generated a positive feeling in us, recognize it as an accomplishment and be proud of yourself! Appreciation is also found in the little things in everyday life.
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