So we’re on our way downtown to see Ross Petty’s holiday show, Snow White The Deliciously Dopey Family Musical, and as we drove, Baby Boy started thinking about Santa. Baby Boy: You know, Santa’s just wasting his time going to all the houses. Me: Wait, what? Why? Baby Boy: Because he has to do each one on it’s own. Waste of time. Me: But how else would he do it? Plus he is fast. Darling Daughter: And magic. Baby Boy: Oh. Thinking a bit. Baby Boy: It’s a waste of time for sleepin’. Me: For who? Baby Boy: For Santa. Me: Why? Baby Boy: He can’t sleep on that night. Me: Well, no he can’t, but that’s his job. Baby Boy: But it’s only on that night he can’t sleep? Me: Right. Baby Boy: Doesn’t he get tired the next day? Me: Of course, and that’s why he only does it once a year. Baby Boy: Why can’t he do it every day? Darling Daughter: Cause it’s too hard for him. Me: And it takes a lot of energy and magic for him to do that. Plus he has to make all the presents, well he doesn’t, the elves do, but still… Darling Daughter: They would have only one day to make them. Baby Boy: They could do that. Me: No, they can’t, it’s too much. Thinking again. Baby Boy: But what if Santa’s bag breaks? Darling Daughter: It won’t. And they have 364 days to get ready. Baby Boy: Why? Me: Cause Santa only works that once a year. I mean he does other work throughout the year, but he only delivers presents once a year. Darling Daughter: Like, he gets a summer vacations. Baby Boy: What does he do in summer? He’s meant for cold. Darling Daughter: He’s a normal person, Fergus. Just because he can do magic doesn’t mean he’s not normal. Baby Boy: Wait, I’m getting a magic wand for Christmas, so I can go all around the world giving away presents. Me: Oh, you think so? Baby Boy: Wait –where would I get the elves? Me: Um, I’m not sure. Darling Daughter: Oh, I’ve got it! Why don’t you hire a whole bunch of short people, dress them up and call them elves? Me: That’s not a good idea. Baby Boy: Why? Darling Daughter: You give them costumes and they’ll make toys. Baby Boy: No, get a bunch of toy makers and dress them up as elves. Darling Daughter: But they have to be short. Darling Daughter: Then get a bunch of kids or toddlers –smart toddlers or a bunch of 5 year olds. Me: That's called child labour and it’s against the law. Darling Daughter: But it’s not labour if they want to, I mean he has to ask them. Luckily we arrived at the theatre just in time to avoid a lengthy discussion on history, politics and civil rights.