She's your best friend. She's the one you call in emergencies or when you just want to talk about nothing and she's always there. But lately you've both been so busy. When you really think about, perhaps it's been months since you've last been in touch.
It happens all the time. Even the closest friendship can fade into the background when you've got so much going on. You might feel guilty for letting the relationship lapse, but you can lose out on a lot when you don't keep your friends close.
The power of pals
Morton J. Mendelson, a professor in McGill University's psychology department, says there are a lot of benefits to keeping up with your pals. Friendships bring elements of stability, intimacy, emotional security, positive feelings and self-validation, according to a study conducted by Mendelson on the value of friendship.
When you lose contact with a close friend, says Mendelson, you lose the corresponding benefits. To make sure you don't miss out on the joys of good buddies, take note of some of Mendelson's recommendations for keeping friendships strong.
1. Speak up
She's chronically late for every coffee date you have. So much so that lately, when she e-mails about making plans, you aren't replying at all. Bad move, says Mendelson. In maintaining any relationship, Mendelson suggests tackling points of frustration head-on rather than letting them blow over. When something bothers you, talk about it. Don't throw a valuable friendship away without putting some effort in. Friendships, like any relationship, take work. And if you walk away rather than speaking your mind, the only one at fault will be you.
2. Understand your friendship
Not all friends serve the same purpose in your life, says Mendelson. "Maybe you have a tennis friend, and a movie friend and a dinner friend," he says. "Not every friend will provide everything you need." One friend might challenge you intellectually, while another provides emotional solace when things get tough. Both you and you friend can get the most out of the friendship when you understand the functions the relationship fulfills.
Page 1 of 2 - tips for staying in touch on page 2.
