4 reasons to date someone who is not your type

By: Jen Kirsch

© Productions Author: Canadian Living Credits: © Productions


4 reasons to date someone who is not your type

By: Jen Kirsch
If you've been in the dating game for any amount of time, you probably already know your "type." Most people do have a type -- a certain kind of person they are generally attracted to. You may not even realize just what it is that entices you about someone -- it could be his appearance, his personality or perhaps even his profession -- but time and time again you find yourself with mates who are very similar.

If this sounds like you and you're ready for a change on the dating front, sex therapist and couples counsellor Teesha Morgan has some tips on how to mix it up. She offers four reasons to date against type.

1. To get yourself out of a rut
"Most people, in general, have a type," says Morgan. But is this specific type of person working for you so far?

"If you're looking for a long-term relationship, ask yourself how that dating pattern is working for you," says Morgan. If it's not having positive results in your life it might be time to face the fact that you're choosing the wrong type of person and to try to open yourself up to people who you wouldn't normally be interested in. At the very least you could strike up a new friendship.

2. To gain a new perspective
"Dating outside your type is good because it can help you learn and grow as a person" says Morgan.

For example, if you tend to stay away from artistic types because you fear they're not stable enough for a relationship you just might be missing out on something special.

"They might show you a different world," explains Morgan. "By dating against type you can gain wisdom. It's a positive growing experience."

3. To gain new experiences
Are you wary of testing the waters with a new type of person? Or perhaps you're just not attracted to people outside of your designated type? So how do you get your head around the idea of meeting someone new?

"Ask yourself: When was the last time I did something for the first time?" suggests Morgan. "Life is all about experience. Get out of your box. You may love it, you may hate it, but that's what living is all about -- taking risks and learning through experience."

"It's like trying a new food -- what's the harm? You can put it in your mouth and it might confirm you don't like it, but at least you tried it," she explains. Worst-case scenario? You wasted some time.

4. To become aware of how your type manifests itself
Are you drawn to specific personality traits? "Think about your last relationship and analyze what those traits were that first attracted you to the person. If you realize the qualities you are being drawn to aren't making you a better person, make an effort to change that," Morgan insists. "Tell yourself: I'm going to date someone that doesn't have these qualities. Make a conscious effort to do it."

"There are many reasons people have a type," explains Morgan. "It may be qualities we are lacking in ourselves so we are seeking them out in a partner."

Be conscious of how other personality types complement you or hold you back, and use this new-found wisdom in your next relationship.
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4 reasons to date someone who is not your type