Tech etiquette 101

This story was originally titled "Tech Etiquette for Modern Times" in the May 2009 issue. Subscribe to Canadian Living today and never miss an issue!

E-mail expectations
At home
"I just got the funniest video of a kitten stuck in a fishbowl! Should I send it along to my friends?"
The experts say: Probably not. Many people regard the forwarding of photos, videos, jokes, inspirational quotations, chain letters and the like to be irritating rather than entertaining, despite their ubiquity, says Louise Fox, an etiquette expert and owner of The Etiquette Ladies Canada. She advises using discretion, and only occasionally forwarding such an e-mail to someone you're certain would like to see it.

"I have been fighting with my sister-in-law. Should I tell her how I'm feeling in an e-mail?"
The experts say: Cool off first, write later. Sending an e-mail while in the throes of intense emotion could do more harm than good, especially if it's in response to what someone else has written. "With the absence of vocal and facial cues, you may have misinterpreted what the sender was trying to say," warns Fox. "If you respond when you are upset or angry, chances are you will say something you will later regret." She adds that your best course of action is to pick up the phone and talk.

 "I'm going to be visiting friends tonight and might want to check my e-mail while at their house. Is that OK?"
The experts say: It depends. Fox believes that, generally, it's rude to request use of your hosts' computer to check your e-mail. But if you're expecting an important message, you can ask if they wouldn't mind. If you're spending an extended time as a guest, such as a vacation at a cottage, ask in advance. And, if you decide to bring along your own computer, always be respectful – you should be engaged with your hosts, not your laptop. "Remember that technology is meant to make our lives easier. We should control it. It shouldn't control us," says Fox. "If you're such a busy person that you just can't live without your computer for a few days, perhaps you should stay home."

At work
"I don't always check spelling or grammar when I send an e-mail. Is that OK?"
The experts say: No. "Spelling and grammar still mean polish," says Nancy Altilia, principal with Mercer Ltd., a consulting firm. "Use spell checker." Fox agrees, and says that how you write is as important as what you write. "Grammar and spelling mistakes tell others you're careless, impatient or just uneducated."

"Is it OK to use emoticons, such as smiley faces, in work-related e-mails?"
The experts say: Being overly casual in business correspondence is a no-no. Using slang, emoticons or addressing colleagues by nicknames should be avoided. "In a business setting, it is always more prudent to write in a businesslike tone," says Fox. Altilia agrees: "There are more than a few people who really dislike that smiley face or who can't decipher ‘TTYL' [talk to you later]. Know your audience. Keep it clean and crisp." If your boss uses them with you, it may be permissible; otherwise, better safe than sorry.

"My colleague e-mailed me a risqué video. Should I pass it on, too?"
The experts say: Absolutely not, especially if the content reflects poorly on you or your employer. "Any firm with corporate e-mail and any technology infrastructure has the ability to track e-mail traffic," warns Altilia. "Employees visiting inappropriate sites or sending inappropriate content are easy to find." Depending on company policy, you could be disciplined or fired.

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