Joe Rich, a relationship expert and author of Parenting: The Long Journey (Wiley, 2006), knows the importance of these relationships, and he offers some tips for how to make things right with your siblings -- even if you want to do anything but.
1. Remove the baggage
The first step to a conflict-free relationship with your siblings is to rid yourself of any tension and judgment your parents may have unknowingly created between you, explains Rich. "To make your relationship with your sibling work, you have to edit your parents out of it," he says.
We often carry a lot of what we have learned through our families with us, such as identifying ourselves (or our siblings) as the good or bad child, the favourite child or the successful child, and this can spill over into adulthood. Starting with a clean slate will allow you to see your siblings in a whole new and, ideally, more positive light.
2. Break the ice
Some siblings let their rivalries get so out of hand that they stop talking to each other altogether. "If you aren't talking to a sibling, start talking immediately," Rich advises. "I don't know what you're going to talk about, but just talk to each other." If this sounds impossible, Rich suggests starting small: Invite a third party (your spouse or another relative or mutual friend) to join you and do whatever it takes to begin reopening the lines of communication.
"The first thing we know from a therapeutic perspective is that people don't realize their sibling relationships are the longest relationships they will have in life. It's probably a more important relationship then at first glance," Rich explains. Knowing this helps make it worth the effort to break the ice and make things right.
Page 1 of 2 -- Learn how to deal with feelings of jealousy between siblings on page 2
