Marion Goertz, a registered marriage and family therapist in Toronto, offers advice on how to ask for help from those around you and how to respond when assistance is offered.
How to ask for help
• Be specific. Try not to be vague with your request. Only you know exactly what you need and when you need it, whether it's someone to look after your children or to hold your hand during medical appointments.
• Be realistic. Your request should be in line with your friend's resources. Someone may not be able to help you make your mortgage payments, but that same person can shovel your driveway on a snowy morning.
• Be respectful. Graciousness and gratefulness will encourage others to help. Allow them to decide to what degree they are able to assist.
• Be responsible. Make careful choices about what you need help with and what you can do yourself. Do not take advantage of someone's generosity.
• Be mutual. When you see someone in need, be sure to reciprocate the kindness you've received.
