10 ways to refresh your sex life today

Could your sex life use a refresh? Our 10 easy tips are guaranteed to help you refresh your sex life today.

By Yuki Hayashi

Listen to your libido
Even the best long-term relationships can lose their spark. Daily responsibilities associated with raising a family, running a household and managing careers aren't exactly hot stuff. And sometimes lust takes a back seat to companionate love.

A strong relationship is built on mutual respect, trust, affection and shared goals and values – qualities that stand the test of time. Part of the emotional rush we associate with a new relationship is the lack of familiarity we have with the sexy semi-stranger in our bed, the wondering if we'll be together this weekend, the "what-if" and "is-he-The-One?" questions. Presumably you prefer the security you have now. And even if that means a less-than-scorching love affair with your mate day by day, it doesn't mean you can't turn up the heat when it suits you. Here's how.

1. Listen to your libido

If movies are to be believed, a good marriage is one where the couple – including parents of demanding, school-age kids – are ready to tear off one another's clothes at any given moment. It's a fantasy-version of reality.

"Every relationship is a unique microcosm unto itself," says Mary Ann Majchrzak Rombach, a couples counselor, therapist and founding director of the Assiniboine Family Therapy Institute in Invermere, B.C. You and your partner should define what amount of sex you want, "not advertising or cultural pressures," advises Rombach. "Do what makes your own relationship happiest." Take the pressure off, and the sex you have will feel more passionate.

2. Get fit.
According to Health Canada statistics, two-thirds of Canadian adults are either overweight or obese. To be blunt, that's not sexy.

According to the Mayo Clinic in the U.S., regular workouts can improve your sex life by making you feel more energized and attractive. Additionally, regular physical activity can enhance arousal in women and reduce the likelihood of erectile dysfunction in men.

Did we mention you'll both feel hotter? About yourselves and one another? Want to refresh your sex life? Get to the gym!


3. Escape.
Couples retreats, weekend getaways – heck, even a few stolen minutes in the garage: New settings make sparks fly.


4. Just do it.
Sometimes, says Esther Kane, a therapist based in Courtenay, B.C., we overthink things. "I feel that talking too much about our sex lives is one of the greatest turn-offs sexually – especially for men!"

Want to knock boots with your man? Get the kids off to their grandparents tonight and just jump him. Forget date night, make it sex night. This spontaneous approach, says Kane, can "shake routine up, and can add some zest back into a relationship which has been overtaken by adult responsibilities and commitments."


Page 1 of 2 – Discover six more tips that will spice up your sex life on page 2.

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