Here, Dr. Read shares with us her secrets about rekindling fabulous, sensuous contact with our significant other. Here are her top 10 tips.
1. Communicate
As we've been told over and over again, communication is the key to a good relationship. According to Dr. Read, it's also the key to great sex. "Communication is the cornerstone of any good sex life. When we first meet our partner, we usually only have positive things to say about them - and the sex. After a few years together, the communication dynamic goes from positive, to awkward, to (frequently) a negative fighting around the topic of sex. Couples start walking on egg shells and don't often feel comfortable talking about sex - so it's incredibly difficult to make a loving, sexual relationship."
Dr. Read recommends engaging in ongoing discussions with your partner about your sex life. "Regardless of whether your present life circumstance is good or bad, you are communicating your way through it. It's much easier to laugh about things you openly discuss than when there's zero communication," she says.
But how to communicate without embarrassment - or worse, blaming one another? Read on to find out.
2. Write...then talk
Dr. Read says that writing out your feeling or concerns before you talk with your partner can help you communicate more effectively. "If you don't feel comfortable talking sex, then write an e-mail or letter. Once your partner has had time to consider your note, sit down (side by side – like in a car) and talk it through," she says.
3. Fantasize
This step sounds like fun, doesn't it? "Focus on what you want your sexual relationship to be, instead of what it already is. This new focus creates your reality. If you only focusing on how your sex life stinks, you will keep perpetuating a less than satisfying sex life," Dr. Read suggests.
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