How to deal with girdle disasters
How to deal with girdle disasters
I wore a girdle in the 1960's, just before panty hose came out. It had garters on it, to hold up your nylons and if you didn't sit right or something, the steel garters with the rubber doohickeys on them would cut into the backs of your thighs something fierce! They felt like branding irons. The front of the girdle would have my pelvic bones numb by the time I got home from school; I should have foreseen the varicose veins looming in my future.
I remember wearing a girdle when I first got married. I hated it, but I wanted to look good in all my new outfits. After I got in infection because of the girdle I stopped wearing it, and now I have been married over eight years and don't care if my husband notices my flabby tummy!
When I was a teenager we all wore girdles, complete with garters (these were the pre-pantyhose days), even if we didn't have anything that really needed to be held in. They were so tight that even skinny girls had a roll of flesh above them and rolls below them at mid-thigh. They also had a nasty habit of rolling down from the top and up from the bottom, so it was like having extra tight elastic bands at waist and thighs. When we took them off, the red grooves would last for hours. Probably the most excruciating fashion item ever invented. Thank goodness they are gone, gone, gone.
My niece was getting married, and I wanted to look my best. That year I had put on a few extra pounds, so to help me tuck in some of the bulges, I thought I would be smart and wear a girdle. By the middle of the evening, I couldn't stand it anymore, so I went in the ladies bathroom and as I was trying to remove it, since it was really tight, I slipped and fell on my behind, my dress around my waist and my girdle down to my knees. Since the ladies room was full of relatives and friends, people still tease me about it. I was sooo embarrassed – and still am.
Page 1 of 4 - a funny first date girdle horror story on page 2.
L. Gilbert says:
One night we had a fancy party to go to and I brought myself a new dress for the evening. I put on my girdle (that I'd had for over 10 years) and got my dress on. All set for a nice evening out. I got to the party and sat down, and there was a ripping sound. It sounded like I had farted. I didn't say any thing but I felt this cold air. Only later that night I had notice that my girdle has ripped in the bum area and my whole butt was exposed. I guess I had put on a little weight over those ten years and this girdle was a little too tight.
On one of my first few dates with my husband-to-be, he took me out to a very elegant French restaurant. Now, understand I was slim then, but I still wanted to wear this lovely little dress that would give me the appearance of having a Scarlet O'Hara wasp-like waist. My "friends" found me the girdle from hell, which had five rows of hooks up the back so that you could cinch it in very tight. With their help I managed to get it on, and then with my hot little dress on I was the picture of beauty that I had always dreamed of. Then my future husband arrived. I glided out to the car and then with great difficulty sat down. I realized this thing was going to be very difficult to sit in for a whole evening. It was torture! But I tried to put on what I hoped was a lovely smile to match my gorgeous figure in my gorgeous dress. It was going to be so worth it, I rationalized.
After a few drinks, I needed to use the ladies' room. I glided tipsily to bathroom, before I realized I was not going to be able to use the washroom with the girdle on! I had to completely strip! Then I tried to put the contraption back on, but my girlfriends weren't there to help me this time! I would have to put the dress on without the girdle. I put it on but I couldn't do up the zipper without the girdle on. I broke down and cried. There weren't any cell phones back then, there was no way of calling anyone for help and I was not going to go out in the restaurant half naked!
I must have been in there for about ten minutes when a kind older angel walked in and asked me what the problem was. I told her what had happened and how I could not fit into the dress or put on the girdle without help. She said she would see what she could do.
So here I was, with this kind stranger cinching up my girdle over my naked backside. But with a lot of effort the dress finally zipped up.
I was in that bathroom for nearly half an hour and my boyfriend was worried sick that I had walked out on him! Yes, I told him – but not until after we were married. No I never wore a girdle again, even though I was a wee bit tempted for my wedding, but only for one insane moment.
Page 2 of 4 - girdle catastrophes at weddings on page 3.
A friend of mine wore a girdle for her wedding. We laughed so hard when we noticed the one she had bought had a hole in between in legs so you don't need to take it off when you need to "go". I can't remember if she tried it or not, but I think if I ever used it, it might be a disaster!
I was at my high school reunion and was really nervous. I went alone shortly after my divorce and my date was the 25 pounds I gained from the divorce. There was no time for dieting so I bought my first pair of Spanx after hearing on an episode of Oprah how great they work. I felt amazing, like just lost 20 pounds. Anyway, I got to the party, saw old friends and noticed that people were acting weird and seemed to be pointing and laughing at me. At first I thought it was because I looked so good but when I went to the bathroom, I saw that I ran out of the house so fast, I didn't notice that part of my skirt was caught in my Spanx! I was horrified; I left the party and never looked back. After that night I never wore a girdle again, and have since lost the weight.
The last time I wore Spanx was for my nephew's wedding. I didn't lose quite enough weight and was trying to look slimmer. The clerk where I bought the dress convinced me, so I wore Spanx pantyhose and a Spanx girdle thingy. In addition to being squeezed like a sausage, I wore a dress with beading all over the top. I guess the clerk didn't realize that the temperature was in the high 30s in the Dominican Republic and it never occurred to me that the beading might chafe. After being trapped in this tortuous garb for 10 hours, I couldn't breathe because of the double Spanx, and my underarms looked like hamburger! I didn't think the reception would ever be over so I could get out of my clothes. When we got back to our hotel room, I raced for the bathroom to start peeling off the layers. My ribs were sore for days because of those Spanx.
I secretly tried my mom's girdle on when I was a teenager. I was looking in the mirror and who walks in? My Mom, my Dad and my oldest brother! I was so embarrassed. They laughed for weeks.
Page 3 of 4 - thinking of wearing a girdle at your wedding? You may think again after you read the girdle horror story on page 4.
I thought Spanx were there be all and end all to holding the excess me until I wore a pair under a slinky dress and found I could not sit down without great discomfort in my nether regions! I went to the ladies room and tried to tug them down, twist them around, anything, but no matter what I did, I could not get them to feel right. I finally just took them off and stuffed them in my purse. When I got home and looked at them again, I realized I had put them on backwards! When I put them on the right way around, they were just fine.
I used to wear this Spanx-like contraption – way before the good stuff was invented. This particular girdle was long and I used it as a slip underneath a particularly sheer skirt. I was in my early twenties and really trying to make a name for myself in my career. I had the opportunity to speak with a very senior partner at our firm and was taking full advantage of trying to sound intelligent. Standing in his doorway, the seam on my girdle split and fell into a puddle at my feet – I was horrified and speechless. There was nothing I could say or do, so I casually stepped out of the undergarment, bent over, picked it up and walked away – cheeks flaming!
Oh my goodness! Just hearing the word "girdle" brings back a lot of memories: I am a woman who grew up in the sixties. My girdle was similar in appearance to a heavy-duty elastic tube top (only worn around your middle) that cut off the circulation and gave the wearer the feeling of being a sausage. Add to that the garters which held up the nylons and a miniskirt and that will give you an idea of the sixties before females got to go free.
I had been so stressed for the weeks before my wedding day I packed on a few too many extra pounds and my wedding dress was super tight. I was squeezed into it thanks to my girdle and thought that I was good to go. Well, during the wedding ceremony – which was in a church – I burst open from top down to my underwear when I went to kneel down. My bra and panties were on show for the whole church to see! My bridesmaid quickly covered me up with a wrap, but the story is still told at every chance that my family gets. Needless to say it's the wedding photo that everyone wants a copy of. Cringeworthy.
I once squeezed into a girdle to go to a wedding, only to have my excess fat pour out of the top, making me look deformed! I decided I looked fine with just a slip under the dress.
I tried on a girdle just for fun years ago, when I was a teenager and couldn't take it off. The sales person had to cut it off!
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