How spending uninterrupted mother-daughter time can spark understanding and deepen your connection.

My mom, Ann Marie, has been talking about turning 65 since her 60th birthday. She’s seen a lot of friends and family around the same age start to have health and mobility concerns, and that’s motivated her to focus on being as healthy and happy as she can.

In those last five years, my mom has started strength training, focused on spending meaningful time with family and enjoyed hanging out with friends. Although they may seem insignificant, these types of intentional changes can work wonders for improving both physical and mental health. After years of putting in so much work raising a family, managing a household and all the other incredible things she’s done for others, my mom has finally been able and ready to show up for herself and prioritize self-care. It’s a well-deserved milestone she’s reached, and I wanted to celebrate with her by booking a mother-daughter adventure in Italy.

Travelling with my family is always an eventful experience. There was that time we got in a car accident in England, driving on the wrong side of the road (or, was it the right side?), a trip to Paris that ended with bed bugs, and that time no one will forget when my brother got car sick and I had to surrender my favourite bucket hat for him to use as a bag (insert barf emoji!). But this would be different—just my mom and me, spending 10 days of uninterrupted time together. I was excited, but to be honest, I was a little nervous, too—our busy lives had taken over and we hadn’t spent more than a day or two alone together in years.

The week before we departed, I could feel the pressure building—I wanted to ensure our trip would go smoothly and I was worried about making every moment count. In our everyday lives, my mom and I are always there for each other: We send positive text messages, check in with quick phone calls and share tons of cat videos. But would things be the same when we were taken out of our comfort zones? I was anxious about our relationship being put to the test.

When we finally landed in Rome, we were on the back of two Vespas with our tour guides, Marco and Andy from Scooteroma, within hours. The tour was the best way to kick off a vacation. We spent four hours zip- ping around the city, learning about its history, seeing iconic landmarks and stopping to enjoy our first aperi- tivo and gelato of the trip. It took zero effort on my or my mom’s part to make that afternoon amazing—no one had to open a guidebook or fig- ure out how to get around—and the easiness of it all felt so good, it set the tone for the trip ahead.

As the days went by, we settled into a routine. We’d sit down at 5 p.m. for an Aperol Spritz or two (maybe even three!), snack on chips and olives, and chat. After being together non-stop for days, how did we find new things to talk about? The only way was to get personal. So, we did.

Opening up to each other unlocked a new level in our relationship. My mom rarely talks about herself—our happy hours changed that. She was candid when speaking about her younger self (I learned lots about her wild teenage years!), her relationship with her own parents, her hopes and dreams, and what she feels are her weaknesses and powers. I shared my goals and fears, and asked questions I had always been too scared to, like was she disappointed that I’m in my 30s and had no plans to have children any time soon? The conversations were deeper than they ever had been, and I’m not sure we’d have ever gotten there without this uninterrupted one-on-one time together.

I’ll never forget when my mom said she wished she could have had an opportunity like this with her own mother. It put things into perspective for me—she’s my mother, but she’s also someone’s daughter, a woman who’s been through, and is still navigating, many of the same questions and uncertainties about life that I face...that we all face. The conversations we had on our trip opened my eyes and gave me a better understanding of my mother, myself, our relationship and of womanhood as a whole. We’re all just people living our lives and learning as we go.

Like any relatives on vacation, we had moments of tension and short-temperedness. When we missed our ferry to the island of Ischia (well, really, I booked it for the wrong day— oops!), we were forced to run through the Naples train station with our giant suitcases to make our new boat on time. It was very stressful, and we exchanged a few harsh words, but in the end we apologized to each other and chose to move on—after all, travel can be tough enough as it is, without sniping at each other!

When we finally arrived in Ischia, we were both pretty tired, but it didn’t stop us from taking in the island’s beauty. Our hotel was extra­vagant, a big step up from the small city room we had just stayed in. My mom was immediately intimidated—she wasn’t used to such lavish accommodations. When she was my age, she was a new mother, renovating a house and making sure every penny was accounted for. The thermal pools, the spa, the restaurant, the service–it was a lot for her to take in. I, on the other hand, said bring it on!

I talked to her about how a vacation is supposed to feel like a vacation—I wanted her to experience the relaxation she so deserves. And that’s what we were doing in Ischia. We hopped on the hotel shuttle and spent the afternoon reading our books at a beautiful cove surrounded by the bluest water. By the time we were ready to leave the beach, Mom was completely relaxed—she even agreed to get her first massage, something she never thought she’d do.

She told me her experience at the resort was the first time she fully understood the importance of self- care. “This experience changed me,” she said. And I could see the difference immediately. There was a weightlessness to her that impacted how she talked about her past, shared her perspective and experiences, and allowed me to see her in a new light.

I look back on our time in Italy and it makes me realize how lucky I am to have shared this experience with my mom—we made beautiful memories I’ll cherish forever.

I almost think we could have had a similar experience anywhere we chose to go—it wasn’t the place we were (although Italy is 100 percent worth the hype!), but the moments of genuine openness and honesty we shared, and our newfound closeness are what I’ll truly never forget.

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